Navigating Change: A Personal Reflection

What Does It Mean to Change?

I was born naked, like all of you. I went to school as normal. 🙂 When I started college, I began wearing a hijab—not because of family or societal pressure, but because it felt comforting. My friends wore it, and it gave me a sense of belonging.

Fast forward, I moved to the United States, completed a PhD and postdocs, all while wearing my hijab. Then I started teaching at William & Mary, and something shifted. I wanted to be more approachable, for my students to feel comfortable reaching out to me. Maybe part of me felt like belonging required adapting—blending in, being more like them.

Fast forward again, it’s 2025, and I find myself returning to my hijab version. Dizzying journey, I know. 😅

I am digging into my soul to find the real reason. One night in Ramadan, after sahoor, I was on my phone- on Amazon app, looking for easy hijabs. There was this feeling that sunk in, which was more of an invitation, that I was scared to ignore. I thought at a rational level that I spend most of my days in the lab with experimental models, I no longer need to present two personalities. I felt the urge to look like the "stereotype" that I should be representing. Reassuring me that I was "more unfit" with the other way around, the outcome was pleasantly received on many people that I interact with often.

Why Do We Write?

“What is your goal in writing?” my husband keeps asking. I asked him the same question: What is your goal in writing papers and publications?

Maybe we all have a deep need to reach out and share. To process thoughts, to empty them from our minds onto paper or screens. Most people won’t care, and that’s okay. But writing can be a bridge— ✅ To connect with others who feel the same. ✅ To find understanding, even if just curiosity. ✅ To create continuity in our own story.

The Hijab and Identity

I feel like I am still the same person—the same brain, the same jokes, the same way of seeing the world. But in Muslim communities, hijab is a big deal. Some men even speak of it in extreme terms, linking it to virginity, purity, or exclusivity to one’s husband.

These views never resonated with me. But they exist. And navigating that external weight of meaning has always been part of the journey.

Is the World Real or Just Imagination?

My best friend, Gizem, used to say:

"What if all people and the entire environment around you are just imagination? What if it’s only you, and everything else is created in your mind?"

It’s possible. If so, I wouldn’t need to worry about what people think or say. 🙂

But in a world where we still believe in our shared realities, I know I will have to explain my changes. I hope that through this, I can find understanding, connection, and smooth transitions in my own story.

For continuity’s sake, I also imagined how we will all rise "naked" in the Hereafter. There, we will finally see how much any of this truly mattered.

What About You?

Have you ever experienced a big change in your life? How did people around you react? Did you find supporters, or was it a lonely road? Let’s talk. 💬