Two Extremes of a Normal Distribution

How should we live this life?

This is the question floating around in my head as we drive back home from New Jersey. During this trip, we visited what felt like two extremes of a normal distribution: the American Dream Mall and an Amish Village.

I'll describe both experiences, but first let me explain what I mean by "two extremes on a normal distribution plot."

You've probably heard statements like, "Assuming the samples have a Gaussian distribution, we can perform this statistical test." Yes, this is the same normal distribution I'm talking about.

If we could somehow plot all the different ways people choose to live their lives, and if that distribution happened to be normal, we might find some people living near the center and others living at the far extremes.

There can be scientific value in studying the extremes. As geneticist Helen Hobbs famously pointed out, important discoveries often come from studying outliers. So let's see what we can learn today.

The American Dream

American Dream is a gigantic mall containing everything from Nickelodeon attractions to indoor skiing and luxury shops you may or may not need.

The desire to satisfy and stimulate every possible neuron is evident. The indoor amusement park is packed with rides. Because it's indoors, the constant screaming of excited children echoes throughout the space, creating an almost overwhelming level of stimulation.

The architects had to be incredibly creative to fit all the twisting roller coasters into the building without having them collide with one another.

Once your brain is fully stimulated, you get to choose: do I want even more excitement by being flipped upside down while falling sideways at high speed?

For my son, however, the most exciting attraction wasn't the giant roller coasters. It was the Paw Patrol Lookout. We spent most of our time there.

Watching people move through the mall was fascinating. They would emerge from one store and immediately dive into the next. The only other place we absolutely had to visit was the Lego store. The Lego experience is interesting because it successfully satisfies our need to be creative while simultaneously encouraging us to follow detailed instructions. Somehow, both needs are fulfilled at the same time.

The Amish Village

After satisfying our Turkish cravings at several Turkish markets, we drove to the Thomas the Tank Engine event. Following a peaceful ride with Thomas, we headed to the Amish Village Museum, where we were given a guided tour of an Amish home.

I learned that Amish communities were originally invited to Pennsylvania to escape religious conflicts in Europe. Today, tens of thousands of Amish people live in Pennsylvania.

They follow a branch of Christianity that emphasizes simplicity, humility, and devotion to God. Their goal is to remove distractions from life whenever possible.

In that context, electricity, technology, and many of the conveniences we take for granted can be viewed as distractions.

Imagine living without a phone.

They largely live without electricity. Some communities have found practical solutions, such as using power generated from nearby streams for limited purposes, or gasoline-powered devices such as lamps and irons.

Inside the house, there was a boys' room and a girls' room. Multiple children shared each room. There was only one mirror in the kitchen, and it was primarily used by the father while shaving.

Looking at oneself in the mirror too often is considered vain. As I thought about this, I couldn't help comparing it to my daughters' vanity tables, complete with lights and accessories.

The Amish clothing also carries simple messages about a person's stage in life. One tradition that I found particularly elegant involves young women reaching marriage age. Around sixteen, they begin wearing a more decorative style of dress that signals they are ready to begin considering potential husbands.

What I found especially interesting was that the young woman plays an active role in the process. She is expected to evaluate potential husbands and determine whether they possess the character and practical skills needed to build a family.

Eventually they marry, raise children, farm, and continue many of the same traditions that have existed for generations.

But what if someone decides they no longer want to be Amish? They can leave.

And what if someone wants to become Amish? That is also possible, although it requires a deep understanding of their faith and way of life.

There is evolution within Amish traditions as well. One example we learned was that young children no longer spend hours shaking milk by hand to make butter, a task that used to be common.

Even simplicity evolves.

Where Do I Stand?

So now, looking at the bigger picture, I find myself wondering:

Where do I stand on this distribution?

What is the benefit of living at either extreme?

What is the benefit of living somewhere in the middle?

After this four-day trip, are we the best parents in the world? No.

As I write this, my son is yelling that I am "Poopy Pants."😂😂

So it is clearly not that easy to satisfy the younger generation once the bar for excitement has been raised so high. Perhaps that's part of the lesson.

Too much stimulation leaves us constantly searching for the next exciting thing.

Too much simplicity might cause us to miss opportunities for creativity, discovery, and growth. Maybe the goal isn't to live at either extreme.

Maybe the goal is to understand both sides and then intentionally choose our own place on the curve. Almost like building your own life from lego blocks, following some instructions. Still feel the creative fulfillment, while being guided.

What do you think? How should we live our lives?